Be my first Christmas without my mother she passed away June 6th very unexpectedly and suddenly. It's been very ruff and extremely depressing and think of her daily. When she passed away I packed up all my belongings and left the state I couldn't take it I still can't. So this Christmas I will spend it with my dad this will be my first Christmas with my father ever. I hope it's filled with some kind of joy that life's sucked away from me.